dreamsicle21's Xanga

My Weekend

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 18:05:41 GMT

This weekend has been wonderful so far (no, I won't think about work tomorrow, I won't!). It's amazing what a couple days off in a row can do for your spirits. David's mom was in town visiting so yesterday was a wonderful day. We drove up to the Berkshires and went to the Norman Rockwell museum (SO cool seeing all of those paintings in real life!), visited the waterfalls and enjoyed some of the fall colors, had a deeeeelicious dinner at a cozy French restaurant, and then plopped on my couch and watched "Yes Man."

And then today, David got baptized!!! It was great first of all getting to be back in my church, which is starting to feel a bit more like home...but the best thing was just listening to David share his faith story and watching him declare himself as a follower of Christ (not that he wasn't one before this, but somehow baptizing is different). I haven't watched a baptism in a long time because they didn't do it during church services back at Eastbrook. But today, as David and another woman shared their stories and got baptized, I was reminded all over again of the blissful wonderful-ness and pure joy of being with Jesus...it was a beautiful thing.

Afterwards, we went out to this old fancy hotel to celebrate and enjoyed their fantastic Sunday brunch buffet - prime rib, sausage, eggs benedict, smoked salmon, cioppino with delicious fresh mussels and calamari and fish, fresh fruit with sprigs of mint dipped in whipped cream were all among my favorites. Mmmmmmm

And now I'm dressed in my Chargers gear, ready to do some leisurely studying before watching the Chargers stomp on the Dolphins today. Go Bolts!! :)

End of life...

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:03:49 GMT

Today for the 2nd time since starting in the ICU I had to step into the call room to pull myself together and cry for a little while (first time was last Saturday during my worst call night ever when I was totally overwhelmed by admissions coming in and patients crashing all at the same time).

Last night, the family decided on DNR/DNI (which means no CPR or intubating) and comfort measures for the patient that I have been taking care of since my first day in the ICU. So our team took off all oxygen support, stopped all of the blood draws for labs, and started the patient on a Morphine drip. It just didn't sit well with me...it felt so much like giving up, even though multiple systems were failing and the patient was spiraling downhill.

Who are we to decide though that something isn't going to work? How do we know that something is "futile"? And when do you stop? I just don't know.

So this morning, the patient passed away and I had to go in and pronounce a patient for the first time..."Pupils are fixed and dilated bilaterally, no heart sounds, no signs of respirations. Time of death, 9:14 am. May s/he rest in peace."

More ICU talk...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:49:47 GMT

Week 2 in the ICU is almost over, which means I'm halfway done! It's still tough..maybe because I feel more lost here than I ever have before. And I have yet to survive my weekend call tomorrow. I know that I'm never really alone because (1) I have Jesus and (2) there's always a 4th year surgery resident in house and attendings to call for help, but my first night on call, I was in disbelief all night that they actually left me alone in this place to take care of these people: a patient with a huge intraparenchymal brain infection and cerebellar edema, multiple patients whose heart/lung/kidney functions were completely dependent on machines and drugs, etc. etc. It's a crazy place.

But the Lord has been SO very faithful. He somehow brings along encouragement at just the right time...i.e. my daddy coming to visit JUST as I was starting this tough rotation, hanging out with David and praying with him every night for strength to get through another day, bonding with the rest of the ICU team and laughing hysterically together, and finding out that our wonderful 4th year med student is a believer and getting to have a good conversation with her about missions and faith and relationships. And in realizing God's constant presence, I'm finding that my smile is slowly coming back again. :) Thank you so much, God

Surgical ICU, day 1

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 22:34:22 GMT

...or really I guess, day 0.5 (because I was post-call)...

I'm thinking that this might be the month that does me in. Oh man, God help me.

Another update

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 20:40:00 GMT

So my first month of residency is winding down. Can you believe it?! I'm going out with a bang tomorrow, with 5 cases to scrub in on during the day (woohoo!!) and then a long night on call until Saturday morning.

Perhaps my infatuation with my residency program will wear off soon, but for now, I'm still so excited that I'm here mostly because I get to work with some super cool residents and attendings. Yes, it's a lot of work (80 hours/week), there's a lot of time spent studying outside of work, and I'm tired a lot. But I think that God really knew what he was doing when he put me and David here. He's already given us so many people to love and pray for and build relationships with. And plus, I just LOVE what I'm doing.

I'm slowly learning Arabic one word at a time from one of the other interns who is Saudi (Hello; where is the bathroom; here; there; Congratulations), getting to hang out more with some of the other interns. Plus I got to visit Boston for a day and had so much fun (except for the traffic into the city)...I can't wait to go back. AND I think we've found a church too! It's been tough church-hopping because I only have 2 Sundays off a month; but this past week David and I went to visit First Baptist Church of Amherst, because it was one of the churches recommended by the Navs staff at UMass Amherst. We both loved it and felt immediately at home there...I'm excited about checking out some of the small groups.

So, that's just a quick update. :) Nap time, then out to dinner with some of the other surgery residents!

An eventful week

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 22:50:02 GMT

Last Wednesday marked my first day on the job. It already feels like a lifetime ago because since then, I've already scrubbed in on my first surgery (umbilical hernia repair) and survived my first call (which was 32 hours of complete craziness and 20 minutes of sleep). Thank God though, for a wonderful 5-hour nap post-call, and a full day off today.

Back to the grind tomorrow :) Yay.

In Springfield, MA

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 23:30:05 GMT

Thanks to my wonderful mommy and wonderful David, I'm finally all settled into my awesome new place (although it was NOT so awesome when I first arrived). All of my boxes are unpacked and things are organized for the time being. The place is huge! I have 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, kitchen, living, room, a gigantic basement for storage, and a garage.

Thank God that all that is done, because starting today, things are going to be intense with long days of ATLS (Advanced Trauma Life Support), orientation, etc. I feel completely (like, completely) inadequate and just out of my element. It's surreal and a bit scary that I'm the surgery intern now. Crazy. The good thing is that I've already met some really nice people...I have a good feeling about my fellow Baystate residents.

Off to do some studying now! :)

pictures and restaurants. mmmm

Sun, 31 May 2009 00:02:48 GMT

Went on an uploading frenzy just now and finally posted my pictures from the last few weeks of fun-ness during my last couple weeks at MCW and then a weekend trip to Seattle and Vancouver.

I really, really wish I had taken more food pictures because Ann and I discovered some absolutely amazing restaurants in both Seattle and Vancouver. But regardless, if you ever find yourself in the area, I highly recommend the following places:

Seattle:

Wild Ginger (Seafood, Pan-Asian)
Pink Door (Italian) - make sure and get the deconstructed fudge brownie sundae...it's fantabulous!
Bavarian Deli across the street from Pike Place Market (awesome ladies behind the counter), perfect place to pick up a picnic lunch

Vancouver:

Hapa Izakaya (a trendy place that serves Japanese-type tapas)
Honey Donuts (in Deep Cove. I really love donuts, and these were seriously the best donuts I've ever had.)
Amato Gelato
Dim sum in Chinatown (not sure what the place was called, but they made the best shu mai ever - HUGE, juicy, steaming hot, and filled with whole shrimp in addition to the usual pork)

http://community.webshots.com/user/eteng02

Here's a few teasers. Enjoy!

Graduation...and beyond!

Mon, 11 May 2009 23:56:26 GMT

I can't believe that I'm going to be graduating this FRIDAY! Crazy. Crazy crazy crazy. The past couple weeks have been filled with awesome times with friends and roommates, but I've been feeling waves of sadness in realizing that things are ending and that we all most likely won't see each other for a long time (if ever). I shed quite a few tears yesterday at Lifegroup while everyone was praying over us and saying their goodbyes.

But I know that we'll all meet again sooner or later, and that God will continue to be faithful because that's just who He is. I'm so excited that I get to walk with the Lord into another adventure :) Yay!

Now, in case you want to stalk me, here's what I'll be up to for the next month or so:
May 15: graduate
May 17-18: drive to Springfield, MA with my mom
May 19-20: apartment hunting in Springfield
May 21 - 24: hanging out in Seattle with Ann
May 24 - June 151: hanging out in San Diego (with a trip to Disneyland somewhere in there)
June 11: off to Springfield for 5 years!

Give me a holler if you're around!
Lifegroup
Playing at the zoo with Christine (where we seriously waited in line behind a bunch of little kids so that we could try out this awesome seesaw)
our "HIPAA" bonfire (where some of us burned white coats and stacks of notes and patient lists accumulated over the years)
Roommates dress shopping for Deana!

Door County trip: Lambeau field, gazing adoringly at the Vince Lombardi statue, GORGEOUS Lake Michigan shoreline, at a beautiful restaurant near our hotel (L to R Courtney, Mike, David, me), the start of our delicious meal (awesome fish chowder and rolls), angry Lake Michigan shoreline

Read more...

A new chapter

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:44:43 GMT

Match day came and went this past week....

....and David and I found out that we will be heading to Baystate Medical Center (western campus of Tufts University) in Springfield, MA.

My first reaction? shock, absolute disbelief, then tears. I cried for a good half-hour (NOT at the match day party obviously, but in the privacy of my room) as it sunk in that we were not heading back to CA as I had hoped, but that we were instead moving even further away from some of the people that I love the most in this world, like my parents and sister and new bro-in-law. But my wonderful boyfriend comforted me and reminded me of God's faithfulness, how He has a plan and a purpose for all of us and in everything, and that we were blessed just to be matching together.

At this point, I'm still terrified of the unknown but at the same time getting excited about the prospect of venturing into new territory. I never ever ever in a million years imagined that I would end up on the East coast. Seriously, even the decision to go to Wiscahnsin was much less of a shock to my system.

But I am CERTAIN of God's faithfulness and that He will be the one carrying me through the many challenges that are sure to come. And of course, there will be new friends to be made, churches and fellowship to be found, family to visit (Grandma, Uncle and Aunt Chen and cousins are a mere 90 miles down the Mass Turnpike), and restaurants to try out. Oh, and 5 years of surgery residency too :)

Thankful.